It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
    (George Burns)

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
    (Ernest Hemingway)

Drinking just to get drunk is like having sex just to get pregnant.
    (Robert Hess)

Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow; Best, while you have it, use your breath; There is no drinking after death.
    (Ben Jonson)

“Do you drink?”
“Of course,I just said I was a writer.”
    (Stephen King)

I’m not much a drinking girl:
One or two at most.
Three or four, I’m under the table;
Five, I’m under the host.
    (Flapper-era rhyme)

Albert: “Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.”
    (Terry Pratchett)

Good people drink good beer.
    (Hunter S. Thompson)

Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
    (W.C. Fields)

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
    (Ogden Nash)

After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.
    (Oscar Wilde)

Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.
    (Oscar Wilde)

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
    (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.
    (G.K. Chesterton)

You can learn a lot about a woman by getting smashed with her.
    (Tom Waits)

Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.
    (Louis Pasteur)

Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.
    (Martin Luther)

it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance
    (William Shakespeare, Macbeth)

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Stranger, here you will do well to tarry; here our highest good is pleasure.